Always learning

I've been sitting here for 10 minutes now writting and re-writting trying to figure out a way to compare training to studying and how they are totally different. The more in detail I try to go with the comparaison the more similar they get, it all comes down to the fact that no matter what you read or what you're told, it's all you. No matter how much help you get, in the end, it's you that has to do the work if you want to succeed. Whether it be sitting down on a chair for 6 hours trying to understand a text or sitting on a bike seat trying to get through a tough day, it's all you.

I'm not too sure where I'm going with this, but as a self-coached athlete I sometimes find myself thinking that I'm at a disadvantage to those who are fully-supported. Of course I'm at a disadvantage, but does that mean I work harder than they do? Not a chance. To get fast you have to ride, lots, period. You have to go hard, very hard, harder than you think you can go and then even harder. However, you must also know when to take it easy, be able to take control. This is the part that led me to where I am today, no control. My rest week consisted of 4 very hard days in a row while trying to fight a cold. Every day it got worse and worse but I ignored it more and more trying to start a new block tired and weak. Look where that got me, I've rode once since Bronte and I've never felt less rested in my life. I worked my ass off while many were still taking it easy indoors, kicked the shit out of myself to get stronger, and then threw it all away. My hard work, my stupid decision, my fault.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is, even if you have a coach, the only way you're going to learn something is by doing it yourself. Usually by screwing up, and if you don't give yourself shit for it then that's when you need to hire a coach so he/she can give you shit. I may be pissed at myself right now, but I know that down the road I can only take this and learn from it. At the end of a block you feel pretty tired, a couple days of rest and you'll feel like you can take on the world but your body needs to fully recover so you can tackle the next block fully rested and ready to go.

Tomorow I'm hoping to get out for a ride, going to see the doctor for sure to get some antibiotics, I'm pretty sure I have a sinus infection of some sort which would explain the ear infections since both systems are closely connected. Hopefully this is the last depressing post on how shitty I feel. It better be because Tuesday Night Shit Shows begin in 2 days! When you get some of the fastest guys in the region together and the goal is to ride as fast as you can, good things happen.

To end on a more up-beat note, some awesome results today from the P2A with De Cal 13th, Perry 18th, and Etzl 44th. That's pretty freakin sick considering there were over 1200 racers.